I get annoyed daily. I get annoyed 20,000 times daily.
I get annoyed by big things like flight cancellations, medium things like my husband forgetting to pick up the Target order on his way home, and teeny tiny things like my kids asking me for a snack when I JUST cleaned the kitchen from lunch.
When I get annoyed, I don’t just feel it inside; I show it outwardly, too.
I don’t like the way I feel inside when I am annoyed, and I don’t like the way I act and treat others around me when I am annoyed.
When I get annoyed, I often resemble a toddler.
I stomp my feet, sigh loudly and expressively, and say things I shouldn’t at a high volume level (aka I yell).
Does this sound familiar?
If so, read on—annoyance can be handled differently with the right plan in place.
The next time you feel the first signs of annoyance, immediately redirect your heart and mind by doing these things👇
- Get God’s help
My first go-to is a quick prayer. I do hard things better with God’s help.
If I am going to ask Him for help eventually, I might as well make it step one because it will help me with all the other steps down the line!
Prayers don’t have to be fancy or long to be effective!
Here is the prayer I pray as soon as I feel annoyance welling up:
Dear Lord, I feel annoyed by (fill in the blank).
Please overflow my heart and mind with your patience, kindness, and grace.
Give me wisdom and help me use it.
Amen
Identify selfishness and tell it goodbye.
Typically, annoyance results from things not lining up with YOUR plan.
I didn’t have to think far back in my memory to have a personal example to share….
This morning, my daughter woke me up early. It was the ONE day this week I planned to sleep in.
Was my plan altered? Yes! Was I annoyed? Yes! Was I selfish? Yes! Did my reaction reflect a sour, selfish attitude? Yes!
My heart’s motivator at that moment was selfishness. I was annoyed because my plans were being altered. I wanted my way more than hers.
My daughter left my room, and I continued to lie in bed.
As I lay in bed, I took inventory of my selfishness. I realized it was a regular time to get up, even if it was earlier than I hoped.
My selfishness of not wanting my plans altered was the real problem—not her actions.
Identifying and consciously overriding my selfishness enabled me to leave bed with a (semi) smile.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 ESV
List the blessings associated with the annoyance.
Ask yourself: What are the good things associated with this annoyance?
Are you annoyed at folding endless loads of laundry?
Be thankful for the family that dirties the clothes, the washing machine, and the dryer you own to clean them.
Are you annoyed that your trip was canceled because the babysitter got sick?
Be thankful that you have kids to watch and money to plan a trip in the first place.
Remind yourself that how you react to an annoyance impacts others.
My family hears me talk a lot about the domino effect of their actions.
Here is the domino effect theory: What you do or say always directly affects someone or something else. S0, choose wisely.
Your words and actions will send a “domino” falling.
The domino will hit another “domino”—ensure it benefits the next one instead of hurting it.
What you say or do will impact how others feel.
This morning, I entered the living room and found my daughter sitting on the couch with a sad face.
She was sad because I used harsh words when she woke me up early.
I apologized and explained what words I should have chosen instead.
She quickly forgave me, but I wish I had not hurt her feelings in the first place.
I am a work in progress, and I likely always will be in this area, but when I employ these strategies,
I can control the annoyance instead of it controlling me.
Annoyance becomes an opportunity to realign my heart with God’s.
Annoyance becomes an opportunity for growth and gratitude.
Annoyance doesn’t have to control you, either.
It can be an opportunity for gratitude and growth!